Everything he wants…

“And you’ll be just fine
With all of your time
It’s only what you’re waiting for…” -Vertical Herizon

“Not Janie Briggs. She has glasses and a pony tail!” -Not Another Teen Movie

In the movie they followed with “and don’t forget the paint colored overalls.” Who needs paint covered overalls when you have the mother of all nerdness… braces!

Recently, I put myself back out into the world of dating. Not an exaggeration to call it a world either as it has it’s own set of human rules that not one person has mastered. If you think you have mastered them you are lying to  yourself. I put myself back in and almost instantly re-benched myself. Yep! No thanks! See you later coach! Hasta Luega!

Why would one do such a thing? Enter and immediately withdraw? The reason is a simple one… Humans are absolutely the most insane, unpredictable, dishonest, and cruel beings out there. All it takes is a toe dip in the the water to be reminded of that minor detail and the nice safe bench in the dugout looks like a lovely safe haven. Some people can hang in that kind of environment. Not me. Now, I am not saying that every human inhabits all the afore mentioned adjectives, although there are some that do. For instance, I will gladly confess to you that I know that I am clearly insane (in my own way), as most people are, and I can be a bit unpredictable at times,though mostly I am not. I am, however, honest and always as kind as I can be.

Here is the thing that really has me spinning wheels. It almost seems like the dating environment encourages lies and deceit. “Make ’em fall in love with you and THEN show ’em the crazy (or show ’em the real you).” WHAT-EV-ER! I am going to be exactly who I am. I may die alone, but at least I will never have had to trick someone into being my partner. LAME!

Yes I know exactly what I have to do to get you to be attracted to me. I know the words. I know what to wear. I know how to bat my pretty little eyes. I know how I should look and act to get you to fall for this woman (even if just for the night). Throw a curve ball? It’s okay. I got back-up for that too. You want sex? SEND NUDES>>> WIN!! I KNOW how to get a man.I KNOW how to pretend to be interested in what you’re saying. I just really don’t wanna play that game. I am not saying that every man is after a naked body, but let’s go back to the biological tick of humans. Men are naturally sexual creatures and women are the nurturers. Yea yea yea… women are having their sexual revolution and men are the gentle beasts. Boooooring… it all comes back to our natural instinct of reproduction and keeping the offspring alive.

I know I am not the prettiest, the sexiest, or the smartest. BUT I AM pretty, sexy, and smart. So I don’t worry about me. I will either die alone… YIKES-A-BEE!!… or I will fall in love truly madly deeply…honestly.

I am coming to you after a week where I was “dumped” (we had one date so I wasn’t dumped in the traditional sense…but I liked the guy and I won’t be seeing him again) and I got stood up another night. Rough week right?!? (Side note: If you aren’t into someone…JUST SAY IT!! No excuses! I don’t care if the bitch is crazy…honesty…HONESTLY.) My point is, I will not be everything every one I date is after, and not everyone I date is going to be what I am looking for. Someday, though, I will find what I am looking for and I will be everything he wants…

OR you can find me living in my brother’s basement… crazy aunt woot!


4 thoughts on “Everything he wants…

  1. I live u my daughter! Stick to this.i wasnt wrong when i said mem are assholes. You just have to wait till u can find the asshole your willing to spend a lifetime with,and he needs to except u..crazy and all! And to the dude who stood u up,grow some balls and have some respect! If your not into her fine but dont be a douche and lead a girl on!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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