I have never and will never understand it.
For those of you with the puzzled look, ghosting is a term that has been created for ignoring someone. I never really knew what to call it until I read an article once naming the shameful act. Now when you ‘ghost’ someone, you are not simply ignoring them. Oh no! You become ghost-like, as if you died. Karma would do me a few favors if it actually made this a reality for some “ghosters.” Say you are talking to someone as friends or as a potential suitor/suitress, usually through text or messaging of some sorts or an occasional call or whatever (you’re talking) and both parties know it and participate actively. Then one day one of the participating parties die. It’s unfortunate because things were going so well…
Yeah we all know they didn’t actually die. What happens is more tragic actually. They lose their balls/lady balls. That’s right. Instead of actually dying and doing the world a massive favor, they ghost. You can text them once, twice, seventy-five times and never hear another word. Not once never! You see, they lost interest. Instead of doing the hard thing, they pretend the one still talking no longer exists.
Recently, I did one of the hardest things that I have ever done. I broke up with the nicest guy that I have dated. My track record doesn’t have many nice guys, but he was for sure the nicest. He had his shit together too. The problem was I just didn’t get that “feeling.” We never talked because we lost that initial connection. Conversations just didn’t happen. The point is, I did the right thing. I let him go. I TOLD him what was going on to the best of my ability. (I am pretty emotional and I have a hard time expressing myself.) It was the right thing to do. It was HARD. It sucked. I felt like a complete shit. I did what had to be done for both parties to try and move on.
All this “ghosting” business does is make it easier for you. Knock it off. Just grow some balls and say “Hey, I’m just not feeling it. Sorry.” Don’t leave people wondering. Don’t let people’s heads get in their way. Help a brotha out! Tell them what’s up.
Several weeks ago I was talking to a friend every single day. We got in a mild “argument” if you could call it that. About a week ago I text them and got no reply until I said, “Oh just trying to say hello.” Had a conversation, made sure we were cool and friend still. Text them a couple days ago… nothing. They died. Pansy-ass bastards. I have been “ghosted” because I wanted to take things slow (meaning I would not sleep with the person.) I actually liked them and wanted things to not be about sex. Ghosted. I have been ghosted because we were going to move in together (we were in a serious relationship and I was going to move to a different state to keep the relationship going) and he changed his mind. Instead of saying so, he disappeared of the face of the planet. He died. Of course there is the classic, “I can’t get nudes from this one.” Yea you know it…ghosted. Ugh See where I am going with this. Be a man. Let her know what’s up. Grow your lady balls and let him know what’s up.
We are all humans. It’s okay to change how you feel. It’s okay to not want what you used to. It’s okay to not like someone “in that way.” It’s not okay to be a jackass.
You don’t have to understand it, you just have to be a decent enough human being to be honest and not do it!